Thursday, 24 July 2014

Unhung Hero

Certificate: 15
Running Time: 84 mins
Director: Brian Spitz
Starring: Patrick Moorte, Axel Braun, Jonah Falcon
Genre: Documentary
Country: USA

Patrick Moorte is a little known actor with a big problem…or is it a small problem?  Maybe it’s just cold.  With his passport, camera and a few friends functioning as film crew Moorte (How I Met Your Mother guest star) explores the methods of increasing the mass of his member.

The documentary came to fruition when Moorte proposed to his girlfriend at a sports event only for her to turn him down in front of…well…the world.  As part of the post mortem it was revealed that the size of his pecker was a deal breaker for the young lady and one that hit Moorte (understandably) hard…no pun intended.

Moorte’s documentary is one of the new generation of documentary film makers, these film makers are not Errol Morris; their work is never going to overturn a prison sentence or create a movement that changes the world; they’re a breed that make the Me Movie.  I can understand why, if your girlfriend dumped you because of the size of your torque, you’d be a little hung up on it…again no pun intended but to make an entire movie about it and the techniques used to elongate it is just a little too self indulgent.  What I can’t understand is why anyone would want to alert the world to their tiny tackle.  It seems that the new world drive for fame of fortune outweighs everything.  Whether it’s I’ve never cleaned my house and now I live in a five room toilet documentaries, or I’ve had this growth on my balls and now it’s bigger than my leg shows it’s amazing how incredibly open some people are to showcasing their issues in exchange for their fifteen minutes.

There isn’t a lot to Unhung Hero.  A basic understanding of physiology and splash of common sense will tell you these techniques are nonsense designed for insecure men and with Moorte shying away from some of the more radical techniques it’s little more than a travel documentary with an emphasis on wieners and more than a passing resemblance to Morgan Spurlock’s Where In The World is Osama Bin Laden and equally as pointless.  The one additional dimension Spitz attempts to put into Unhung Hero in the form of the sexy blonde potential girlfriend who works in an LA sex shop and Adult Expo is clearly scripted, contrived and only goes to emphasis how needy Moorte is and that the documentary would be a lot more interesting if it was focusing on his real problem. 

Unhung Hero is a paint by numbers travel-a-thon that when measured up against other examples of the sub-genre comes up more than a little short…pun intended.

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Alyas Batman en Robin

This is the second time Knifed in Venice has attempted to review Alyas Batman en Robin, the Filipino Batman flick directed by Tony Reyes.  On the first occasion some three years ago the DVD pulled a Shergar and disappeared between Twisted Danger's mailbag and our front door.

Since then Twisted Danger has been taken over by a new boss lady who has been making serious attempts to make restitution with those that have had their pockets pinched by the site's former owner.  Thirty-six months after the initial purchase my DVD copy of Alyas Batman en Robin finally arrived along with 3 Supermen in Santo Domingo [review here] and John Waters' sophomore movie Multiple Maniacs.  So there should be a review here, right?  Yeah, should be.   Unfortunately the DVD copy of Alyas Batman en Robin doesn't come with English subtitles so if there are any Filipino comic book fans out there give me a heads up and you're welcome to it...unless you have a spare copy of How to Learn Filipino in Three Easy Steps and with Little which case I'll buy it off you.  Real deal. 

The silver lining to this big stormy shit cloud is that Twisted Danger, one of the most diverse Exploitation sites around, is open for business.

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony

Certificate: PG
Running Time: 90 mins
Director: Laurent Malaquais
Starring: John de Lancie, Alex Tibcken, Tim Star
Genre: Documentary
Country: USA

There are a growing number of fans coming to the new My Little Pony television series and they’re…men.  Adult, married, straight men.  Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony is their story, and that of Bronie-Con. I swear to God it’s a real thing.

As documentaries go Bronies follows a well traced formula of documented footage, talking heads and interviews coupled with footage of Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and all of the other ponies that a thirty-two year-old man has no reason to know (yet thanks to this blog and my wife I do).  Some of the characters that are the male fans provide the real heart, soul and flesh of the movie.  With one living with Aspergers, another living in the hillbilly heart of North Carolina and several more dealing with father with little understanding towards what it is about MLP that draws them in; it’s a narrative of friendship, tolerance, and understanding –something that everyone could do with a little more often.

It’s actually really heart-warming to see how MLP has such a positive effect on the lives of the fans involved.  John de Lancie (Discord) is a true boss, perfect gent and master of ceremonies throughout the documentary as he makes people’s day left and right before taking a non-understanding father to one side to help him with understanding why it’s not a big deal his son loves My Little Pony.

The problem with Bronies is that there is nothing new offered to the documentary genre and little that's learned about the show that really couldn't be summed up in the opening eleven seconds.  Sentiment can only really take you so far and though it is a well constructed, feel good doc it's not going to leave any sort of lasting effect on anyone other than Bronies and their homies.

Monday, 14 July 2014


Every once and a while we move off the beaten path of cinema in order to highlight other mediums in which the creative folk we feature operate in.  Jeremiah Kipp is a New York based film director; last year KiV reviewed three of his incredibly impressive short films [here].  Kipp has turned his impressive eye to music videos and has teamed up with musician Aaron David Gleason plus a host of famous faces, including Chris Sarandon (The Princess Bride) and Joanna Gleason (Boogie Nights), to sculpt Mastermind.

On top of the powerful visuals, rich colour palette and wonderful cinematography it is actually an insanely catchy track.  Check it out and while you're at it drop by Kipp Films and check out the work of one of the most talented independent directors working today.

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

A Measure of Sin - DVD &VoD

Every childhood is normal…to the child that lives it.  For Meredith that means an enchanted seclusion that is shattered when she is deprived of her mother.  Desperate and alone, Meredith must join a household with other women and their children, a sinister man who controls every facet of her existence, and a vicious bear that only she can see.


You should be.  This is the premise behind the multi-award winning independent horror movie A Measure of Sin and if that sounds good then the next bit is going to sound even better…it’s available on VoD and limited edition DVD.  That’s right, BrinkVision released A Measure of Sin on demand and on DVD on June 17th of this year meaning there are a small number of the two hundred pressed DVDs remaining.

Don’t just take our word for it.  Check out the trailer by clicking [here].  You can buy the DVD by clicking [here].

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