Unhung Hero

Certificate: 15
Running Time: 84 mins
Director: Brian Spitz
Starring: Patrick Moorte, Axel Braun, Jonah Falcon
Genre: Documentary
Country: USA

Patrick Moorte is a little known actor with a big problem…or is it a small problem?  Maybe it’s just cold.  With his passport, camera and a few friends functioning as film crew Moorte (How I Met Your Mother guest star) explores the methods of increasing the mass of his member.

The documentary came to fruition when Moorte proposed to his girlfriend at a sports event only for her to turn him down in front of…well…the world.  As part of the post mortem it was revealed that the size of his pecker was a deal breaker for the young lady and one that hit Moorte (understandably) hard…no pun intended.

Moorte’s documentary is one of the new generation of documentary film makers, these film makers are not Errol Morris; their work is never going to overturn a prison sentence or create a movement that changes the world; they’re a breed that make the Me Movie.  I can understand why, if your girlfriend dumped you because of the size of your torque, you’d be a little hung up on it…again no pun intended but to make an entire movie about it and the techniques used to elongate it is just a little too self indulgent.  What I can’t understand is why anyone would want to alert the world to their tiny tackle.  It seems that the new world drive for fame of fortune outweighs everything.  Whether it’s I’ve never cleaned my house and now I live in a five room toilet documentaries, or I’ve had this growth on my balls and now it’s bigger than my leg shows it’s amazing how incredibly open some people are to showcasing their issues in exchange for their fifteen minutes.

There isn’t a lot to Unhung Hero.  A basic understanding of physiology and splash of common sense will tell you these techniques are nonsense designed for insecure men and with Moorte shying away from some of the more radical techniques it’s little more than a travel documentary with an emphasis on wieners and more than a passing resemblance to Morgan Spurlock’s Where In The World is Osama Bin Laden and equally as pointless.  The one additional dimension Spitz attempts to put into Unhung Hero in the form of the sexy blonde potential girlfriend who works in an LA sex shop and Adult Expo is clearly scripted, contrived and only goes to emphasis how needy Moorte is and that the documentary would be a lot more interesting if it was focusing on his real problem. 

Unhung Hero is a paint by numbers travel-a-thon that when measured up against other examples of the sub-genre comes up more than a little short…pun intended.


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