FILM: The Human Centipede 3 [Final Sequence]

Certificate: 18

Running Time: 102 mins

Director: Tom Six

Starring: Dieter Laser, Laurence Harvey, Bree Olson

Genre: Horror

Country: Holland, USA

You ever wonder what would happen if Burt “The Bandit” Reynolds snorted his fucking sanity out through his asshole, went shit crazy, and ran a prison straight out of an Exploitation movie?  The result is simple… The Human Centipede 3 [Final Sequence].

 

Larry's "Fat Hitler" costume lost out to "Chemo" Marlboro Man in the Prison Pageant

We’ve made no secret about our love of centipedes here at KiV.  The Human Centipede [First Sequence] was the first film we screened at our Movie Bar back in September 2010, and though the second movie lacked some of the “grace” of its predecessor it still created enough of a rounded realm to hold one’s attention and even raise a few bigger issue questions.  The third film is neither of these flicks.

Imagine a cartoon-like land in which cause, effect, rhyme and reason have no relation to one-another.  One in which there is no light and shade, redeeming qualities, or even depth.  Somehow the movie runs for 102 minutes… most of this is (the previously brilliant) Dieter Laser yelling… always fucking yelling!  It’s sad what it’s become.  The first film had something truly unnerving.  Where Grotesque was torture porn, THC 3 is so laughably over the top it’s little more than panto porn.

 

Let's all do the conga, let's all do the conga. La-la, la, la!

Dull… dull… dull and nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is.  I'm not even going to bother reviewing the performances they're all so one-dimensional that they simply are incapable of standing up to any degree of interrogation.  If I had to pick between watching this again and fucking all of my dead relatives I'd ask for a shovel.