FILM: The League of Bats (Ranking the Caped Crusader) - #9

A lot has been made of Snyder's use of the "dream sequence" to plot underpin elements of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice with most of the controversy involving the Knightmare sequence (Parademons et al) and the dream-within-a-dream that is the emergence of The Flash.  The truth of the matter is, though the Knightmare sequence is "pitched" to the audience as a dream sequence, Snyder is using the established visual aesthetic to lull you into believing it as such.  
Do whatever you want to me... I'll never watch Keeping Up with The
The truth of the matter is, as Barry Allen (The Flash) vibrates in order to puncture the walls of Bruce Wayne's reality he has reached Bruce when he is at his most vulnerable (unconscious).  Unwittingly he has tapped into Bruce's subconscious and in doing so has provided him with a vision of the future.  A future Barry is attempting to alter.  "You were right about him...", confesses the Crimson Speedster laying the groundwork for the most ambitious, risky and gritty direction any comic book adaptation could dream of going... Injustice.

9. Batman & Robin (1997)
George Clooney || Batman
Chris O'Donnell || Robin
Alicia Silverstone || Batgirl

Surely, number 9 is no real surprise.  After the increase in positive reviews and box office take alike, Joel Schumacher followed up 1995's Batman Forever with the single biggest abomination to the Batman legend since Aunt Harriett... Aunt Fucking Harriett!
This poster almost makes the movie look good...
Everything about this movie is wrong.  Sure all the stables are there but it's as though the screenwriters were intentionally trying to take a shit on the World's Greatest Detective.  Freeze puns his way through every scene, Ivy is straight out of a Carry-On movie, Bane is a first draft knucklehead of a character; remember this is after the Animated Series did stellar work with that character.  Batman has his own fucking credit card, Robin is a prissy lil bitch (not to mention 40), Barbara (aka Batgirl) is suddenly Alfred's niece instead of Gordon's daughter (bullshit) and everything is predicted by the same great mind that let Vicki Vale into the goddamn bat-cave.  Which might explain where the bat-nipples came from... chilly!

Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard is available on Amazon in paperback and on Amazon Kindle in the mass market "Stars & Bars" cover and an Amazon Exclusive "blank variant".

Stu Hogan is idolized by every child walking Hollywood Boulevard apart from his own.  Working the star-studded street as a Batman impersonator alongside good pal Brian (Superman) and steroid shooting Ricky (The Incredible Hulk), Stu's love of alcohol, gambling and strippers have left him behind with his alimony, down on his luck and looking for a quick fix for both.

Seeing an opportunity to change his circumstances, Stu enlists his fellow superheroes for a daring heist that has the impersonators fall short of their counterparts' lofty standards causing friendships to fracture and divisions to become deadly.

Click [here] for the FREE zero chapter.


Dr. Theda said...

The "over the Top" performances of Two-Face and Riddler, were very enjoyable... The only well done (almost) Character was Dr. Woodrue...
... Leto had best give a very good performance, as Joker.

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